I have been stumped. I did not want to just stipple the next section of Mom's quilt. I am tired of swirls and feathers. I toyed with the idea of repeating the pattern from the first border. Nope. I could just quilt wavy lines all the way across; B O R I N G. The creative juices were just not flowing.
It might have something to do with my preoccupation with Canine Hospice. Slowly and subtly Wilson decreased his food consumption. First he would fail to finish his full meal. He would take it if I hand fed him. Then he refused kibble. I tried another one, no dice. So a few weeks ago we took him to the vet. He was very anemic and we searched for a cause; no obvious bleeding. After a trial of antibiotics and continued decline, the vet confirmed my fears; Wilson's cancer is taking its toll. I am devastated and irrational much of the time. He eats and I am revived. Then he won't eat and I crater. No, I don't think he is in pain. I do think he feels like shit. It breaks my heart to see him so thin and failing. Poor guy.
He can still climb the stairs but I have avoided going to the quilting "studio" to work on the long arm. He is pretty weak and going up and down stairs, which he will do if I let him, is an effort. Instead I have been playing on the 201 and practicing FMQ on scraps of batting and old sheets. I figure that if I can get the pattern in my brain with practice on the 201, I can transfer that "memory" to the long arm. Others do it, I can too.
I started with swirls and wavy lines, just for practice. It isn't so easy. I jerk the fabric around. I am using small pieces, too. Of course, with time, I improved.
Today I just started fooling around with paisleys and feathers.
At the moment, my boy seems content. He is asleep on the couch. Today he ate almost two whole chicken breasts and a half a can of dog food. Oh, and when I reached for the Greenies, he came trotting out to the kitchen, ears perked and eager for the treat. I am not good at being present in the moment. I know there will not be a miracle. I wish that he was healthy. I hate seeing him weaken. I know that my job is to keep him comfortable and when the time comes, call the vet. If he were to die in his sleep, that would be a beautiful blessing.